Today, a video plus a little bit of knowledge for ya. Because I care so much about you all, I'm going to reveal some of my fantasy football secrets. These are things that I've learned over the past few years or so, things that I have put to the test and have found success with. I call them "guidelines", you may call them rules if you like. But here you go.I am going to divulge to you, the top 5 players that you want to stay away from and not draft. Pay attention, because other owners in fantasy football leagues all over this fine nation will be gobbling these players up in the early rounds, and you may feel left out. But stick with me people. After these players all turn out to be draft day busts, you can just sit back and laugh at them all the day long, because you didn't get fooled like they did. And trust me, you will be on top of your league, or at least over .500. Wait. On second thought, I can guarantee that you won't be in last place? How's that for ya?
Here we go. Here is the list.
#5) You will not want to draft Dwayne Wright, (pictured) running back for the Buffalo Bills. He is rated by ESPN as the 99th best RB on the board, so it's gonna be tempting to snag Mr. Wright in your league's draft, I know. But you have to resist this temptation. He is projected to accumulate a mass of 107 yards rushing and 1 touchdown for the year, and I know those stats jump out and scream "I'm going to be the steal of the draft as a 5th round pick", but stay strong.
#4) The next player you will not want to draft is Redskin's WR Anthony Mix. Despite the large amount of publicity this guy has received since going undrafted out of Auburn back in some year, unfortunately for fantasy owners everywhere, this guy isn't going to be in the Mix. (See what I did there?) I know, it's pretty disappointing to see Mix tumble down the depth chart after showing so much promise back in the local Rec League when he was 13. Trust me, there are about 132 other WR's that will be a better pick than this guy.
#3) Next up is Tyler Palko, QB for the New Orleans Saints. With him in the same QB group as Drew Brees and Mark Brunell, you're pretty amazed this guy isn't going to be competing for the starting QB job, huh? Admit it. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but trust me, don't draft Palko. He's going to seem like such a steal sitting there at the 50th overall pick, but you will thank me later for not taking Palko.
#2) Readers have been emailing me non-stop about this next guy. Vinsanthe Shiancoe of the Minnesota Vikings. My inbox has been overflowing with questions about this dude's upside, sticky finger hands, and potential fantasy value. In fact, Larry in Terre Haute, IN writes in, "The Vikings signed this guy and are paying him a guaranteed $7 million bucks, so he's gotta be a good fantasy pick, right?" Wrongo, wrongo there Larry. It's true he's getting paid that $7 million, but if you draft him, it's going to hurt you in the standings. You can quote me on that, buddy.
#1) And the number one player that I am telling you not to draft and to stay as far away as possible is...Plaxico Burress. Two reasons. 1. He is injury prone. His ankle is apparently attached to his women parts. And 2. Did you hear me? He has f-ing women parts.
That is all. Hope it helped you out. Here is your video. (Again, you probably wanna earmuff the kids and old people.)
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